On New Motherhood

Recently, a friend of mine, who is pregnant, asked me what advice I had to offer her for the last few weeks of pregnancy, the delivery itself, and post delivery.  I could sum up the first one in a few words (exercise as much as you can, get as much rest as you can, eat right, and cook and freeze as many meals as possible), and the second one is largely individual, but I really wanted to put some thought into postpartum advice.  Some things, like breast feeding, I am incredibly passionate about, so I won't detail that advice here, but if anyone is interested, let me know and I would love to talk to you about it.  :)

A few nights ago, though, I was thinking about this friend and what advice I would give her and other expectant moms.  This is not so much advice, as it is an observation, and maybe even a warning...or perhaps a challenge?

When you have your baby, all kinds of (albeit, well-meaning) people come out of the woodwork to give you (often unsolicited, good and bad) advice.  Some of these people have obtained their "knowledge" by experience, while others have read it or heard it from a friend.

Regardless, as a new mother, you will likely be more uncertain of yourself than ever before.  At least, I have been at times.  I babysat all my life and could comfort any crying infant with confidence, but when the baby in my arms was my own, all of a sudden the task seemed much more daunting.  Just when you think you have figured out the solution to each new obstacle, your little one changes it up--or you hear something or read something that makes you question yourself.

It's a little scary really.  All of a sudden, you are charged with the *enormous* responsibility of caring for a brand new human being, and everyone, it seems, has an opinion about the best way to do that.  You will be faced with an onslaught of opinions about pacifiers, nursing, diapering, immunizations, bottles, first foods, toys, and oh so many other fun things.  Regardless of where the information is coming from--your co-worker, your aunt, your culture, or the expert online--this is what I hope you will remember in those moments of self-doubt:

1. NO ONE on this earth knows YOUR baby like you do.  You have carried him in your womb, loved him from the moment you knew you were pregnant, and treasured his every breath and movement since you brought him into this world.  He is not a statistic.  He is an individual with individual needs and individual preferences, and no one knows better than you what is best for your baby.
2. You have been entrusted, by God, with your baby.  I believe that God chose me specifically for the task of raising my son, and despite my self-doubt, God clearly believes that I have the capacity to do this...and do it well.  

So, in light of that blessed responsibility I will choose not to be blindly led by what is "normal" or what is "recommended" by so-and-so.  I will do my due diligence.  I will seek wisdom from reliable sources (experts and experienced parents alike), I will pray, and lastly, I will trust my maternal instincts that God has given me to make good choices for this very babe.

AND...I will allow myself the FREEDOM of not feeling like I have to defend myself when my decision is unique.

So, expectant mothers, new mothers, and experienced mothers alike, I challenge you to Go Forth, and Mother with Confidence!!